Killer Chimps and the Common Man

I have this theory...since I am a perpetual B student, whether I study or not, I am going to assume that I retain about 80% of everything I have heard or seen (given that I was not drunk or stoned at the time). my theory is best explained with an example....someone asks how are chimpanzees closet related to the average homosapien..my response would be 1. thumbs, 2. brain usage, 3. use of tools, 4. class oriented, 5. motherly capabilities, etc...all of this i have retained from watching the discovery channel. If one should ask what are the two things you should not give a chimpanzee in captivity? i would respond with choclate milk and birthday cake, it makes the other chimps jealous and they will go on a killer rampage by ripping off your hands, feet and balls (if applicable). this was explained to me on an episode of 20/20. and my parents used to say..."you will never learn anything from television", what did they know?!